You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize