the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
