I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
