I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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