I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
