Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
