so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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