Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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