a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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