watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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