I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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