I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
