oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
