is your mom at the bar?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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