weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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