Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
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he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
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I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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