Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
