TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
