Pants 0. Shit 1.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
