you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I have already put on my inside pants.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
