I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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