He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
