who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
