you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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