she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It's blow job season.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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