you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize