He told me they were just razor bumps!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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