I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
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