Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
high people should be assigned attendants
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
