he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
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