Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
