Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
