i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
