hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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