Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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