I wish I could punch you in the face.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
