Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
