It's just like the Real World with babies
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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