You don't have asthma, your pregnant
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
