I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
