I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
