Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
