why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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