i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
do herpes really smell.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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