3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
