I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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