You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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