If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I hate all girls vehemently.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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