Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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