she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
