Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
