It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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