Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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