About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
