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I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
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