We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
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So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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