Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'... http://tfl.nu/26q5
  Replies (15) Good night (3953) Bad night (1255)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast. (508): PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail. http://tfl.nu/qbqn
  Replies (29) Good night (5209) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets http://tfl.nu/bg6i
  Replies (28) Good night (4670) Bad night (2119)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone http://tfl.nu/hza4
  Replies (15) Good night (5365) Bad night (1102)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in. http://tfl.nu/z4b8
  Replies (9) Good night (5399) Bad night (2191)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience. http://tfl.nu/1o4v
  Replies (34) Good night (826) Bad night (5848)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (587): Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea http://tfl.nu/gdya
  Replies (5) Good night (2752) Bad night (1482)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers. http://tfl.nu/tlh4
  Replies (11) Good night (689) Bad night (2096)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks... http://tfl.nu/1g5k
  Replies (13) Good night (1158) Bad night (2467)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dibsssss

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again (1-570): Dibsssss http://tfl.nu/o6dy
  Replies (11) Good night (2073) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will. http://tfl.nu/096i
  Replies (8) Good night (2257) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis. http://tfl.nu/w515
  Replies (20) Good night (577) Bad night (1493)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady. http://tfl.nu/u0md
  Replies (19) Good night (2161) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount. http://tfl.nu/oq9w
  Replies (10) Good night (2035) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (276): Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish http://tfl.nu/p7ll
  Replies (2) Good night (365) Bad night (615)

Randomize