just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
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Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon