I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU