you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize