Apparently you make a good broom.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
