I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
