Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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