it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
